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Showing posts from November, 2010

Surrogacy, Who's Pregnancy is it?

There is an ancient phrase "Possession is nine-tenths of the law" that is about land, property, or other tangible items, but I keep thinking that it applies to Surrogacy . During the Surrogacy journey everyone's emotions swing back and forth based on possession. Most people are thinking that "it's an embryo," or " a fetus," and only later "a baby" what is there to possess before the birth? There are many things to possess during the process. A short list is: The thought of a baby. Expecting A Miracle . The Surrogates agreement to Match and join the endeavor. The DNA. The Egg. The Sperm. The Embryo. The Uterus. The Information. The Pregnancy Results. The Heart Beat Results. The Numbers and medical reports from the Dr. Visits. The Pregnancy. The Ultrasound Pictures. The Delivery. The Baby. Most of the time, the main possession during the Surrogacy is information. The open, honest, and unfiltered truth about what is going on

Why Can't A Gestational Surrogate Rebut Maternity?

One argument that you rarely find in the who's the Mother debate around Surrogacy is that fact that gestational primacy (the Birth Mother is Shinning) leads to unequal parentage determinations by considering different factors for men - genetics, and women - birth. Most States and Countries pretend to know what's best for women. The theory goes - the women might regret giving away the baby at some point in the future, so we will protect her, by making it against the law. Sure, we understand that she is willing to do this BEFORE the embryo transfer, and is BECOMING pregnant on purpose to help another couple have a child, but we the government MUST protect her from possibly thinking it was a bad choice in the future. The Nanny State knows what is best for you. Where are the Gestational Surrogates Equal Protection Rights Regarding Maternity? When a State assign maternity to the woman giving birth, this creates different procedures for establishing maternity than fo

Surrogacy - A Duty, A Mission, A Cause........

One thing that about my experience regarding Surrogacy was always very clear to me. I knew why I was here. We didn't have a uterus, so we had to find one to have a baby. It was a NEED, not  a want. A requirement for us that had no other alternative, but to find a Surrogate. With limited options, our course for action was clear. Priority #1 for having a baby was finding a Surrogate. Now why someone would become a Surrogate is a whole different matter. You hear all kinds of answers. Surrogacy is in my heart I want to help a couple become a family I am full of compassion for others I meet someone that has gone through infertility and they want to help someone.  The answers are different for every individual, and I probably have poor examples, but recently, I found an answer that  I understand, I can relate to, I can appreciate, and I can respect. It was an answer to what happens when the Surrogacy is over , but has a line for me that best describes

Surrogate Mother Claims to Be Wife......

Surrogate Mother Claims to Be Wife....Couple Says She Was Hired In India, it appears to be ok to have multiple wives, but there are no laws regarding Surrogacy . A local businessman and his wife appeared to have hired a women to be the Surrogate for them. The Surrogate went on the birth certificate as the wife. Now she demands protection of her "Rights as Wife." In the meantime, the police refuse to solve the issue of Surrogacy because it is not covered under the law of the country. The Intended Parents have NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO THEIR CHILD. Here is the Story: A businessman in the city locked in a dispute with a woman, who he claimed to be the surrogate mother of his child, today said the lady was "hired" for Rs1 lakh. However, according to an FIR filed by the woman, she has claimed the status of wife and declined to hand over the child to the couple. Police said the custody of the one-year-old child was granted to the woman identified as Rani in th

Surrogacy Delivery at the Hospital....

I understand when the public doesn't "get" the whole surrogate - intended parent relationship. However, I expected more from the hospital. Every step along the way, the medical profession treated us as the parents and the surrogate as the gestational carrier. Then, for the first time, in our case at the delivery of our baby some members of the hospital staff clearly didn't get it. The medical care was outstanding and we couldn't have been happier with the hospital in that regard. The emotional care was often left wanting. The majority of the staff went out of their way to accommodate us the Intended Parents as the parents. However, there were a few long time staffers who just didn't get the whole thing. They would look at us and acknowledge "I know you are the parents" and then turn to the surrogate and go "okay MOM, what do you want to do." Our surrogate would then look at us for the answer. I could understand the