Who would have thought that I would be the expert on Mexico IVF.
When IVF was never our main issue - our issue was surrogacy. Our focus was surrogacy.
The IVF part was important, was required, but was never the focus.
The focus was always surrogacy.
Now, I am emailing or talking to about 10 couples a week asking me about going to Mexico for IVF.
On themselves. No surrogate required.
It makes me think. What's wrong with them?
IVF without a surrogate seems to be so easy. I mean, how hard can it be?
Just pick a date and go. There Done.
But, it's not that simple. Infertility never is. They have a whole set of issues that we didn't have to deal with in our struggle. Many of them don't know what their issue is.
The straight IVF couples don't tend to be big sharers of the situation either.
It is really weird for me - because our infertility issue is a carrying problem - we always new what our issue
was - and never had any problems figuring out our issues.
We simple knew from the start. We needed a surrogate.
Because of this - and maybe who we are in general - it appears that we share more than others.
Plus, you can't find a surrogate by being quite. They aren't going to find you.
I constantly am being told it's great how open I am about the subject.
How much I am willing to share about our experience.
Both the struggle and now the success.
I always figured that it was required.
The IVF couples appear to me to have less issues, less struggles, but more stigma's, then the couples that are going through surrogacy.
At least, they seem to imagine the stigma. I don't see it.
It's a hard thing getting them to post or write about their experience.
They want to keep it to themselves. Our send out Private messages.
While the couples going through surrogacy seem more willing to talk about everything.
Most likely, going through the war's, battles, and conquest of IVF with Surrogacy requires that you share more of yourself - since you are required to bring another family along for the experience.
It would be wrong to give them the silent treatment.
Then you got to explain it to your family and at some point it becomes a shared experience - as opposed to IVF on yourself - which seems like more of a personal experience.
They can tell people - we went away for a trip and got pregnant. It was so romantic.
Our story is a little more complicated so being honest from the start really helps. Otherwise, there would be some crazy rumors going around when we show up with a baby in the fall.
Some secrets are to big to keep.
We did got a lot out of our trip to Mexico.
A truly unexpected pregnancy.
A great joy after our long struggle.
So we will keep sharing with other couples that are interested in going. We will give them all the advice that we can. Even to the weirdo's out there that don't need a surrogate.