IVF Land on Surrogacy World

From an IP's perspective once the Surrogate is pregnant and 100% by heart beat the Surrogate holds all of the cards. Their many objective is - how do I keep her happy. How do I make things easier for her? Can I carry her around like Cleopatra while the peons peel her grapes. And then the first questionable test comes back. It's going to happen. It happens to everyone at some point. The Doctor wants "further testing." It could be something big. It could be something small. It doesn't matter. The IP's just heard - "your baby is in jeopardy"! Get prepared mentally "YOUR baby might not make it"! This is the GREAT MENTAL DIVIDE between IP's and Surrogates. The Surrogate hears "let's do another test". It's "not a big deal". "Everything is fine". IP's and Surrogates do not speak the same language. The often don't understand each other. And here is why: A Surrogate is a Su...

After watching and hearing about struggles that Intended Parents and Surrogates have over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that the biggest issues that everyone has can be summarized into one main group. Need vs. Want One side NEEEEEEDS something and the other side wants something that's in conflict with the other person's NEED. The Intended Parent feels that if their NEED isn't meet that their future child will be everlastingly harmed. The surrogate wants to do the opposite thing. On the other side the Surrogate NEEDS to do something and the IP's want the opposite thing and both sides beat their heads against the wall in frustration. Either way a Grand Canyon grows. And once that river flows and the Canyon starts to form it seems to spiral out of everyone's control and the divide gets deeper and wider. Usually, everyone can keep the peace until there is a negative report about the babies health. And then the gloves come off. The fine...

I recently watched a new movie called google baby. It was an interesting take on Surrogacy in India. A big part of the movie shows the Surrogates living "a life of luxury" as the sit or lay down in a room together on wall to wall cots. The room has a TV in the corner and the staff brings them food. They are basically on bed rest for the entire pregnancy. Then their husband and kids would come and visit them during the day. It actually looks like a surrogate jail - where they get "three hots and a cot." As I watched the show it is really easy for me to think "how inhuman" and "undignified" the experience must be for the India Surrogate women. In our case our surrogate is far away, lives with her family, has a job that gets her out of the house often, and gets to pick/choose her own diet without my interference or suggestions. Now to be honest, after giving the whole idea a few days of thought, I have some to realize that if my Surr...

One of the funny parts of our trip to Guadalajara for IVF was going shopping at the Bazaar and at one booth they were selling Ostrich boots. This was at a location that doesn't get a lot of English speaking customers and the other IVF couple that was with us were bi-lingual and explained that they guy was telling us in Spanish that these were Ostrich boots. The shoe salesman had never heard the word Ostrich before and was excited to learn the new word. He said it at least 10 times before we moved on. We passed him about 3 more times that day and every time we saw him he would yell out with a big smile OSTRICH. He was so excited about the new word that he had learned. For me, that is also the key word for how I have approached the pregnancy. Once, we got the CVS test back telling us that the baby was healthy I have prepared myself by being the best Ostrich that I can be the rest of the way. This is not my nature - I am usually more hands on - but worked well for me. W...

A few weeks ago we were told that our baby is coming for Jihad. A little terrorist that was coming with a bomb. Set to detonate at birth. To kill herself - or the surrogate. Are baby comes with presents - how nice of her. We were told that we have Vasa Previa or/and Placenta Previa. A simple definition means that there are blood vessels that can break during labor and the baby or surrogate can bleed out. The countdown for the bomb going off was the babies birth date. Now to beat the bomb we were told that a C-section was required and would avoid the wiring of the bomb, by coming out the escape hatch. Our September 7th - natural birth date was changed. Our "beat the bomb" birth date was tentatively scheduled for August 24th. Someone, didn't like the "beat the bomb" plan. And made some moves now - ahead of schedule - a clear sign of determination. Or just good luck. The Previa moved. Out of harms way. So now - for today - we are back...

Tick.....Tick.....Tick......Tick...... Goes the pregnancy watch. It's a slow activity. With an agonizing wait between updates. Good news, bad news, either or news, and my favorite........ Let's do more testing in a few weeks to find out what this means news. We even get to wait to find out what we have been told - actually means to us. They will let us know, next appointment in a few weeks. The birth date changed - and then changed again - back to the original date. Maybe. Because, it might be another date. Based on the natural order of things. Instead of the Doctor's schedule. I think that the only thing worse then having a baby must be - to be the one to actually going through the pregnancy and having the baby. I mean - it's tough enough for me just getting a baby.