My biggest issue with surrogacy is loss of control.
We have not gone all the way to a live birth so I have not experienced an entire journey first hand, but you hear stories of out of control surro's. I am sure that it's just like the nightly news where the wildest story gets the headline - but the headlines play into your fears.
Once those embroy's are transfered all sense of control is lost. They were safe and protected in the petri dish. Now they are loose in the womb and struggling to survive. You want to help them settle in and find a safe home for the next few months, but you are helpless and can't help them. I would offer to hold them in place - but that would be really awkward!
You only have one source for communication with them and that is through your surro. What did she say? How did she say it? What was the meaning behind her words? Sure she said this, but what did she really mean? Can you break the code and find out what is really going on? When did the surro start speaking in pig latin?
It's like going to the twilight zone and another person is in charge of your emotions and you are just along for the ride.
As an IP you now have a new GOD to worship. Or at least as close to one as a human can be. Well, maybe not a new GOD, it's actually the same one, but he has moved and he now lives in your surro's belly and your mission in life is to make him happy so that your baby will grow. You can only make him happy by making your surro happy.
What can you sacrifice to the surro today? Anything and Everything will be tried. The cargo she is carrying is priceless and must be protected at all times. As an IP your only means to protect your child is to make sure that every need and want of the surro is answered.
Once that baby is growing in her belly the balance of power in the relationship is lopsided.
It is like riding a teeter-totter (also known as seesaw) with someone that outweighs you by 1,000 pounds. You are at their mercy - they can throw you in the air or slam you to the ground in an instant. And you have to smile back and enjoy the ride the whole time.
Now of course, I am speaking hypothetically, this is a fictional story that doesn't have anything to do with any real ips. No real ips were hurt in the telling of this story.
Of course, I don't have a surro at this time, and in the past I have never had a bad experience with my surro. In fact, I love my surro, and all other surro's, at all times. My future surro, whomever she is, is the best.