IVF Land on Surrogacy World

While I enjoy bashing evil people's heads against the wall as much as the next person I am starting to feel like a stalker that's kicking someone when their down. I would stop posting, but I keep getting emails from people thanking me for posting information that they can't find anywhere else or nobody else is sharing. I know people that were unknowingly brought into this scheme and it makes me sick. I will continue to post new information as it becomes available to me. In the meantime, I am working on an ebook that will share positive stories about the Community. So many good rewarding things happen to everyone involved in the Community and we need to share this information. The Project is called Surrogacy Together . Our first ebook is titled "Inspiring Surrogacy Stories." Our Mission  is sharing positive, uplifting stories about Surrogacy and the Surrogate community with the world. When presented with the details someone called it our version of ...

Surrogacy Together - The Power of Teamwork and Shared Leadership is the name of the book that I am working on to share my story. The title covers my experience through the process. Detailed plans, daily follow through, and teamwork carried us to success.  We built a team with well defined roles and multiple leaders to complete our mission. It was a very satisfying and humbling experience. We had a large support network that helped guide us through the rough patches and uncertainty and get us to the other side. Without them the road would at times would have been impossible to navigate. In our case, we had 4 distinct Support teams. While they were all important, not everyone was equal. Some participated for a day, week, or month, while others were involved daily in the entire grinding experience. At this time, I am dividing them into a few simple categories: Professionals - The medical and law team. Mentors - Other IP's and/or Surrogates that have been there - done ...

My Other New Surrogacy Project.... Project Title: What Is The Lived Experience Of Intended Parents During Surrogate Pregnancy And Transition To Parenthood In Relation To The U.S. Healthcare System? That is a mouth full. What does it mean? The term lived experience is used to describe the first-hand accounts and impressions of living as a member of a minority or oppressed group. In layman's terms - How does the Healthcare system oppress Intended Parents. I could go on for days on this subject. The study is being done by the  The University of Texas at Tyler. The potential benefit of the study is that it will be used to set the guidelines for hospitals around the Country. As is my nature, I was the first Intended Parent that volunteered to be interviewed. I want the project to start off heading in the right direction. They are looking for additional Intended Parents that are currently involved in a Surrogacy or have a baby through Surrogacy that is less than ...

I am about to focus on a new all consuming Surrogacy project. Well I actually have more than one all consuming projects coming up, but for today we will focus on the sharing of the most public aspect of my Surrogacy Story. Today, I am committing to writing a book. It will be a memoir as opposed to a guide book. One man's thoughts about the absurd things that go through his mind while building his family through Surrogacy. Ideally, it should be a page turner rather than something brilliant. The story will need SPICE to work. This stands for Specifics, Places, Incidents, Characters, and Emotions. Naturally, from my perspective, it will take genuine bravery to write an honest memoir. It will be emotionally difficult to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth on a page for publication. However, I feel that I have an important story that only I can tell. And it's a Surrogacy Story. That means it will be filled with truths, half-truth...

Surrogacy Chooses You, You Don't Choose it... Surrogacy is a necessary evil for some couples. Nobody wakes up one morning and says "I'm going to find a Surrogate to carry my baby" without years of struggle and thought into the matter. And Finding out that there is NO other option for them. This is not Plan A. It's not even Plan B. It's plan ZZZ. And even then only because we have to. After all other options have been explored. Do we want to? Hell no! But, the alternative, life without a child, a family, is unbearable. At times, it would be so easy to just give up and not have a child. The thought does cross your mind. Why can't we just stop? Why can't we just be happy without a child? Or with the children that you already have in your arms. Think of all the fun things we could do with the money that we are burning away trying to have a child. One that we might not get, even with our best efforts. The desire to proc...

The truth, no myths, no trendy responses— just the truth that endures for this Intended Parent about Surrogacy land is that focusing on the future at all times is required. That is the one piece of advice that I would give to a newbie just starting out. Dream. Imagine. Think big. Before the transfer, during the pregnancy, and after the birth. Create your child's life story. You will need your creativity, enthusiasm, and idealism the entire time. The truth is that  focusing on the future is the only thing that will keep you going . The capacity to imagine and articulate exciting future possibilities will strengthen you during the tough times. It’s not something anyone else can do for you, but you must do this for yourself. You have to take a long-term perspective if you’re going to guide people to places they have never been before. And you will be taking friends, family, and strangers along with you on the ride. You are their tour guide. The first or seco...

How do you get started with IVF and Surrogacy. You have to say yes to begin things .  You have to say yes to big dreams, You have to say yes to possibilities, you have to say yes to the unknown, you have to say yes to your beliefs,  you have to say yes to difficult challenges,  you have to say yes to sleepless nights, you have to say yes to worry filled days, you have to say yes to collaboration,  you have to say yes to trust,  you have to say yes to gut wrenching choices that often have no right answer,  you have to say yes to facing your fears,  you have to say yes to your heart, and  you have to say yes to faith.    So, here’s the big question:  Are you ready to say yes?

This is a common question Intended Parents get when they tell people for the first time that they are using a Surrogate. The media plays up the horror stories. Surrogate keep Baby - when it happens it's World Wide news. These cases are usually a Traditional Surrogacy done in a place where Surrogacy is illegal. Or at least paying the Surrogate is illegal. Therefore, the parents have no standing to protect themselves. Surrogacy Lawyers play up to this fear. You need to pay us large sums of money to protect your rights as a parent. Because as a future parent there would be nothing more heart-breaking than to lose your child. Your hopes and dreams. So near - and then snatched away from you. When for just a little more money - you could have protected your rights as a parent. Fear drives the marketplace. Now I live in California and am interested in specifically our laws in this State. How do they apply to me? I plan on using a Gestational Carrier - with my DNA. ...

A few days ago I made a post called " A guys thoughts on Surrogacy. " I read it again today and realized the writing doesn't reflect the title. I wrote about a lack of a guys thoughts on Surrogacy. And that they are missing from the Surrogacy World. My post does match the reality of the situation in that it didn't supply any answers and didn't include and thoughts from a guy. I suppose that I should of just left the title as it is and made a blank post with no words. That would correctly reflect the thoughts shared by the men. It would be a quick read. But, not very informative. I figured that I would share my thoughts on Surrogacy in this post and clean up my missed topic. As a warning, when I started posting on message boards about my opinions I often started them with "I'm a guy." Looking back, I think this was a not so subtle way to say "hold on, I'm going to offend you with what I am about to write." Let's see...

I'm looking all over the Internet for "A guys thoughts on Surrogacy" and I can't find anything. Clearly, we are a bunch of deep thinkers and sharers. When I say I can't find anything - I mean nothing. To clarify, I am looking for someone with a story like mine. Heterosexual male, Intended Parent, now ex-intended parent. Who went through the Surrogacy process. I can find Surrogates Stories everywhere. Gay couples with two Intended Fathers, Lawyers, Doctors, and psychologists that have worked with Intended Parents, and Intended Mother stories. Even a few articles about the surrogates husband and how supportive he is - to her journey. But, not a single story that I relate to and go - that's me - that's what I went through. I find it odd that one of the main players in third party reproduction has absolutely no voice. Half of the DNA comes from us. At least usually. And we have nothing of importance to say. We are just a silent support person...

Today, we got an email from someone asking us to share our Surrogacy story. They think that we have valuable insights to share "because we didn't have a smooth road." It makes it sound as if we were damaged by our journey. Surrogacy was never an issue for us. We were not damaged, injured, destroyed, or even emotionally challenged by the Surrogacy side of our adventure. Well..... maybe a little emotionally challenged. However, we had tons of issue with a lack of RESOURCES. Everything was running along smooth and on track for us until we lost our twins during our first attempt at IVF. Losing our twins was a major emotional shot. But, this would have been the same feelings if Christy was the one pregnant. Having a Surrogate lose the twins didn't make things different. We moved on to a frozen transfer - and it failed. A little later we did another frozen transfer - and it failed. Now we are 3 time failures and we are out of Money. Now we have problems with Surrogacy. We c...

This is what resonates the most for me. You can’t do it alone .  No one ever got anything extraordinary done without the knowledge, talent, and support of others.  You need others and they need you. You’re all in this together. You have to be sensitive to the needs of others, listen, ask questions, develop others, provide support, and ask for help.  This was the hardest thing for me as the independent person that I am. Being forced to ask  for help when I just wanted to do it myself? Sure, that's impossible. But, it sounds easier than bringing everyone along with me for the ride.  Then again, if I had to carry the baby, I really would have been an emotional wreck. I kept thinking -  Why can't I just focus a little harder and put some more effort into this and have success. This has worked for me throughout my life. I am not used to failure. But, in the Surrogacy World - going alone - got me no where. Telling my sobby sad s...

Okay, so you’re thinking: What in the world does this have to do with me this morning? I don't know. That's for you to figure out. For me,  It's about Expecting a Miracle and getting it. The bottom line is that our Surrogate did something great for us. Now, if you are a new to my story,   it’s was all about expectations. Greatness doesn’t appear on its own. Somebody expects it . For us, our baby didn't happen by accident. She put her life, and her family on hold so that we could become parents. That is an amazing thing that she did. So often we slip into our roles and routines – as parent, child, friend or co-worker. And we think others are static entities. They are great people or maybe simply average, or unpredictable or extremely steady. And if they’re not totally static, then we figure any control of how good they are, lies with them. But, the fact is we have so much more power than that. We shape possibilities for others. And others shape...