The more mature me.........

We all have wants and needs in life.

When my wants start to overpower my needs, there needs to
be a re-balancing of my id, ego, and super-ego.

This is not about me, myself, and I.


"the it," "the I," and the Over I."

My id ("the it") doesn't want to take no for an answer and is only looking at the selfish answer.

My Super-ego ("the Over I") strives for me to act in a socially appropriate manner.
To find the perfect answer, and keep everyone happy.

My ego ("the I") separates what is real. It helps me to organize my thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us.

According to the reality principle:

In Freud's words, "an ego thus educated has become reasonable; it no longer lets itself be governed by the pleasure principle, but obeys the reality principle, which also at bottom seeks to obtain pleasure, but pleasure which is assured through taking account of reality, even though it is pleasure postponed and diminished"

I can hear Christy already..........

What are you talking about? What's your point?

The more mature me - looks at reality - over my emotions.

And reality tells me that the birth experience will be much smoother, easier, and comfortable
under these conditions.

Our surrogate stays in the comfort of her own home until D-Day, D-Hour.
Our surrogate has the delivery done by the OB that she has been seeing all along.
Our surrogates family is able to relax at the comfort of their own home and town.
Our surrogates families daily routine remains unchanged.
Their life can keep it's normal ebb and flow.
That we put them in the best situation possible.

So my point is -

The more mature me wants to know, "how do we make things best for her and her family?"


Cyn said...

Maybe I'm just tired, but didn't you already answer this question yourself?
And if you really want my advice and experience you should just come out and ask for it.
I do like the more mature you. I was certain the punch line in closing was going to be how to keep from asking her to come to CA for the remainder of the pregnancy so that ATA is born in Ca.

Christy said...

See when Jon takes forever to get to the point his message is lost.....see Jon I tell you this all the time! LOL

I will interpret "Jon's world" (yes, this world exists and is very well known in our life, just ask either Nic or Court and they will vouch for it)

Interpretation- Realization is it isn't all about him. Our surrogate doing this amazing thing for us has needs and comforts that need to be considered and count as much or more than his/our "wants". This is the mature Jon not the the self centered one.

And yes, believe me we offered just about everything under the sun to make it work for their family but in the end it just does not work for them and we can't change that but instead choose to respect their wants as well.