The more mature me.........

We all have wants and needs in life.

When my wants start to overpower my needs, there needs to
be a re-balancing of my id, ego, and super-ego.

This is not about me, myself, and I.

But,

"the it," "the I," and the Over I."

My id ("the it") doesn't want to take no for an answer and is only looking at the selfish answer.

My Super-ego ("the Over I") strives for me to act in a socially appropriate manner.
To find the perfect answer, and keep everyone happy.

My ego ("the I") separates what is real. It helps me to organize my thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us.

According to the reality principle:

In Freud's words, "an ego thus educated has become reasonable; it no longer lets itself be governed by the pleasure principle, but obeys the reality principle, which also at bottom seeks to obtain pleasure, but pleasure which is assured through taking account of reality, even though it is pleasure postponed and diminished"

I can hear Christy already..........

What are you talking about? What's your point?

The more mature me - looks at reality - over my emotions.

And reality tells me that the birth experience will be much smoother, easier, and comfortable
under these conditions.

Our surrogate stays in the comfort of her own home until D-Day, D-Hour.
Our surrogate has the delivery done by the OB that she has been seeing all along.
Our surrogates family is able to relax at the comfort of their own home and town.
Our surrogates families daily routine remains unchanged.
Their life can keep it's normal ebb and flow.
That we put them in the best situation possible.

So my point is -

The more mature me wants to know, "how do we make things best for her and her family?"

Comments

Cyn said…
Maybe I'm just tired, but didn't you already answer this question yourself?
And if you really want my advice and experience you should just come out and ask for it.
I do like the more mature you. I was certain the punch line in closing was going to be how to keep from asking her to come to CA for the remainder of the pregnancy so that ATA is born in Ca.
August 6, 2010 at 10:25 PM
Christy said…
See when Jon takes forever to get to the point his message is lost.....see Jon I tell you this all the time! LOL

I will interpret "Jon's world" (yes, this world exists and is very well known in our life, just ask either Nic or Court and they will vouch for it)

Interpretation- Realization is it isn't all about him. Our surrogate doing this amazing thing for us has needs and comforts that need to be considered and count as much or more than his/our "wants". This is the mature Jon not the the self centered one.

And yes, believe me we offered just about everything under the sun to make it work for their family but in the end it just does not work for them and we can't change that but instead choose to respect their wants as well.
August 9, 2010 at 11:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I See Pregnant Women....And Small Children

Since we are talking about other blogs that inspire a post I will point to Xbox4NappyRash: The seventh sense in which he talks about developing a 7th sense - the ability to see infertile people. I got it a little different - I See Pregnant Women....And Small Children. When I was a small child I would go to the beach and see other small children. Others like me to play with in the sand. Then as I got a little bit older I became interested in the basketball court near the beach and was aware of the other basketball players that where on the court. As a got still older, I became aware of the girls in the bikini's at the beach. All of a sudden they were everywhere - and they were the only ones on the beach. Recently, when I go to the beach I see Pregnant Women....And Small Children all over the place. I constantly have to work hard not to step on them as they play in the surf. These young families are new to the beach. They have never been there before now - yet now they are all of the
Read more

Mr. Inspiring

Check it out! Someone thinks that I am inspiring. Really! go to Our Surrogacy Adventure and read how I inspired her post, but notice that I didn't inspire her enough to be added to her blogroll. This is what I am talking about when I say that we meet new friends on our adventure. This would be a prime example. Take note, if you women that are reading my blog want me to post more that is how you get it done - stroke my ego. Men really are that simple. Now here is my response to the heart of her post - why do I blog? This is the point when almost everyone says "so that friends and family can follow our journey". That's not me. I want my family to be able to enjoy the excitement of our new addition and don't want to take them on the rollercoaster ride with us. They are really supportive, but we have to go through enough already without taking our entourage with us every step of the way. We just want to give them the happy days. So then, who is the audience that I wa
Read more

Mr. Excited

Mr. Excited has arrived on the scene. He is the happy go lucky guy that is ready to take on any new adventure. He doesn't see how anything can go wrong and wants to "damn the torpedoes, go full speed ahead." We know the odds now, (way to well) so how do we use them to our advantage? Let's double our odds by doubling our surrogates. The math seems really simple. Sure having all of the people involved can make things complicated, but Mr. Excited just wants to hear about the results - not the complications. We have One goal. One Mission. AND One Obsession . So with our eyes firmly on the prize we are moving forward with a new Adventure of a Lifetime . We have built a new team to join us and are ready and excited about moving forward again. We have named our surrogates Ajysyt and Isis. To give them their privacy on the web. Also, it just seemed like a lot of fun to keep people guessing. Our goal is to share this story with everyone. To accomplish this we have started
Read more