Adventure of a Lifetime

There are some phrases that you here a lot on Surrogacy World. One of them is:

"Good Luck on your Journey"

Another one:

"I can't wait to follow your Journey".

I hear that phrase and I want to puke. It just sounds like such a feminine word and definitely not something that I want to be involved in as a male. That's were you lose us. It start right at the beginning - Journey is a women's definition of the experience.

"Journey to the center of the earth" was written in 1864 and is the only example that I can think of that is a journey that a man would be interested in going on. That is it!! One example.

When I hear a women speak about their journey I think of a quote:

Let them a journey new begin, But I at last with weary feet Will turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet. — J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973), English Professor.

I journey is a trial and tribulation that wears you down. It is something that you need to recover from. Much more work then fun, full of drudgery - not excitement.

The word journey is a very heavy word to carry around. Go ahead and say the word journey right now. Notice how you let out a deep breath and sign and your shoulders drop. The word alone almost sends you into a depression.

Who wants to volunteer for a weary trip?

I prefer to use the word adventure.

We will try the same experiment with adventure - go ahead and say the word.
The word adventure is a happy word. Notice that when you say it you sit up straight and smile.
Your body stands at alert in excitement ready to move forward.

An adventure is exciting. There are challenges along the way that need to be overcome. You face highs and lows on the trip, but joke and laugh about them. You meet knew friends and go to new places. And at the end you get a reward.

Then I would add the word Lifetime because that describes my children's experience in the process. This adventure story doesn't end with a birth, that is really just the beginning of a lifetime of new adventures that a fresh young face will get to enjoy.

So if you want to wish me well do me a favor and wish me good luck on my:

Adventure of a Lifetime.


Gina said...

I wholeheartedly would like to wish you my very best on your adventure!!!!!

It's not just a guy thing, or I'm the odd female. I'm not a fan of using the term journey but go along with it because it seems to be the lingo. I remember thinking once that if surrogacy is a journey then I know an awful lot of weary travelers.

Duck said...

Journey is for sure a woman's saying. I do say that, i look forward to following you on your journey to having a baby.

An adventure, I probably wouldn't write as a comment ,or say to someone, not about having a baby, not after what I have been through/seen/felt. I would be afraid that if i said adventure I may offend someone (as most people plan and look forward to adventures - not many women i know look forward to infertility, heartbreak and loss).

Yes it can be an adventure, and I'm glad that you have such a positive outlook, for many of us out there it is a journey.

IVF Land on Surrogacy World said...


We have lost twins and been through two failed transfers in the last year. I have personally felt the downside and it hurts.

I know it is hard and the odds are long.

There are thousands of negative thoughts that I could dwell on. Not one of them will help me move forward.

I only have one goal that is worth focusing on and that is having healthy children.

I will choose to look positively into the future with excitement.

IVF Land on Surrogacy World said...


It's nice to know that I am not alone in my thinking.

Duck said...

It's really nice that you can concentrate on the positive adventure aspect of it, you're lucky to have such an outlook, and I hope to maybe one day get that outlook back for myself (if i can actually make it to the point where I transfer embryos and have a chance of having a child or pregnancy of any kind at the end).
It's admirable to be positive, but, not always easy.

Christy said...

Funny thing.......when starting out I didn't like the word "journey" either....I called it an "adventure" but then went along with the norm and switched to "journey"(it never felt right)...unfortunately shortly after it really started and things were rough I referred to it as "walking through fire".

I NEED to go back in with a clean slate as much as possible to look to how I want it to be so I too will go back to looking at it as an "adventure". My clean slate does not diminish the children we created and lost......we will love them and miss them every day of our lives but our focus needs to be on the future and the positive adventures we will have with our surros :-) because "fire walking" just isn't my thing

IVF Land on Surrogacy World said...


Sometimes it's impossible to find the positive in a situation. You just have to take a beating, examine it to see if there is anything that you can learn from the beating, and move forward with a new plan.

It's not so much that I am only looking at the positive side. There are some dark lessons that I have been through and I have learned from them.

However, I can't go through surrogacy and be scared the whole time. It's not healthy for me or helpful to the process.

The athletic training that I have gone through let's me shake of the negatives, focus on the lesson, and move forward towards the results that we want to achieve.