Listen and You Will hear...
the panic attack of an IP coming near.
A surro and her IP's go to the doctor for a check-up on the baby.
Do they hear the same thing?
Sure they both listen to the doctor, but do they walk away from
the appointment with the same expectations of what needs to be done
before the next visit? Or how healthy the baby is at this moment in time?
You have all heard of the book titled "Men are from Mars and Women
are from Venus". Can the same be said for IP's and Surro's?
You here the stories and what the two groups take away from their meeting with the doctor's
are often night and day. You talk to the IP and hear that the Surro has been placed on strict bedrest for 2 weeks and then you hear that the Surro played tennis all morning before going skiing in the afternoon.
I got to assume that the Surro wants to carry a healthy baby and thinks they are doing what the doctor told them.
Where is the disconnection happening?
Is it as simple as this example:
The doctor says "if this happens, then we will put you on bedrest for two weeks.
The Surro focuses on the word "if" - and goes that isn't happening right now so I am okay.
While the IP goes right to "we will put you on bedrest". Thinking to themselves "Why be risky let's just be safe and go straight to bedrest".
Here is my very unscientific thoughts on the matter.
The Surrogate usually comes in to this relationship with a completely different
background then the IP. Most of them have healthy kids and their pregnancies have
been easy for them.
Their pregnancies were not very complicated and sure things changed during the course
of the pregnancy, but without and major problems in their past - they expect things to go well.
The IP's on the other hand often have years of struggle behind them before they move
on to a Surrogacy journey. This is a scientific and medical journey for them. They are constantly
being told and are aware of the obstacles every step of the way.
For an IP, each check-up is another battle to win or lose. If things went well you take a deep breath and immediatly start analyzing the next battle. The IP thinks "sure there are blue skies here right now, but we need to be concerned with what is over the next hill".
Without carrying the baby the IP is only left with the medical information on how the baby is doing. Each drop of information is priceless and deeply held onto. Therefore, the IP's focus on every single word in the doctor's report.
So gentle reader, here is the write in participation part of the blog. This is where you can add your comment to the discussion.
Based on their background going into the pregnancy do the Surro and IP hear what the doctor says differently?
Do they both take away the same meaning and expectations from their doctor visits?