When I mentioned that I was looking into India as a possible option for us, many of the responses I got back where - I could never go there because I have to experience the pregnancy.
I have been trying to figure out what that means.
To me I am not experiencing the pregnancy - I am experiencing surrogacy.
Back to a sports analogy.
There are three main groups involved in a basketball game. The players, coaches, and fans.
As a player, I am directly involved with the outcome. I have input on every play. I can feel my muscles ache, the blood flowing, and my heart pounding. I effect everything that happens.
As a coach, I am directly involved in the game, but I have a different role. I orchestrate everything, but someone else has to make it happen. I choose who gets to play and what plays are run. I effect somethings that happen through others.
As a fan, I show up just before tip-off. My first experience is fighting for a place to park, then the beer line. I support the team, I have very little effect on the outcome of the game. I watch what happens and cheer the team on.
On Surrogacy World, I would say that in most situations the surrogates are the players, the IM's are the coach, and the IF's are the fans.
We are all experiencing the game, but not in the same way. Our roles change how we view the event and shape our experience.