The Value of a Team

When we first started talking about using two surrogates at the same time the immediate thought is "this is going to be complicated". I mean working with one person was/is hard enough wouldn't working with two people be twice as hard? Or worse, would the problems even multiply and get completely out if hand?

By the end of the journey will I be asking to be locked in a padded room?

Now that we have been going down this path for awhile I see many advantages of using a team to build our family. Teams have common goals and a common purpose. If one person is struggling the other teammates can help lift them up. Each individual will add their special skills, ability, and personality to make a stronger team then they could be as individuals.

Here is a definition of what a team is:

A team comprises a group of people linked in a common purpose. Teams are especially appropriate for conducting tasks that are high in complexity and have many interdependent subtasks.
Teams normally have members with complementary skills and generate synergy through a coordinated effort which allows each member to maximize his or her strengths and minimize his or her weaknesses.

It is natural for peple to want to join teams. Everyone wants to be part of something that is bigger than themselves.

You see it right now in the Olympics where athletes that are paid millions to perform their sport are willing to play for free to join the team of their country.

As we work on growing and building a team for our next adventure in surrogacy I feel that it is easier for me to be involved. In our first go around Christy formed a friendship with another girl and they planned the pregnancy together. The whole world of pregnancy and surrogacy are not male domains, nor normal conversation for me. I wasn't excluded on purpose, it was just more natural for two women to hang out and talk about pregnancy.

Today we are building a team. I have been part of a team or building and coaching teams all of my life. It is a natural environment for me. One that I am very comfortable with participating in at every level.
I understand the dynamics of getting a group together to sacrifice for a common goal. How to get individuals to overcome challenges and obstacles to meet a group objective. And most importantly, how to help one another through the tough times, because there are always tough times along the way.

This type of interaction has always been a part of my daily life. I get it, I enjoy it, I thrive in it.


Anonymous said...

I for one am really happy for our team and the goals we can and will achieve together. :-)

J and D waiting said...

I agree the need for surrogacy to be a team effort. In our next journey Derrick is taking a more active role in the communication with our surrogate.

mommy2b said...

This definately needs to be a team effort and most of the time I feel like I'm left to deal with the hard stuff because Rich feels like I know more therefore can handle it. If we do this again, he will definately need to step up or I won't survive another surrogacy. I wouldn't have made it through this one without my WIMs.

IVF Land on Surrogacy World said...

J and D and mommy2b,

It is interesting that I never felt that Christy needed more support from me. I have been very active and involved with her through the whole process.

At times, I might have been too involved. Our Doctor wanted us to change surrogates before heading into our last transfer.

I was on the phone with him alone and I asked him if it was for medical reason and he said "no".

My answer to him was "if she is medically ok with him we will stick with her. We signed up for this project together for the good and the bad. Sure at this point it has been mostly bad, but let's see it though together".

Christy, simply would have followed the Doctor's recommendation.