IVF Land on Surrogacy World

Mr. Excited has arrived on the scene. He is the happy go lucky guy that is ready to take on any new adventure. He doesn't see how anything can go wrong and wants to "damn the torpedoes, go full speed ahead." We know the odds now, (way to well) so how do we use them to our advantage? Let's double our odds by doubling our surrogates. The math seems really simple. Sure having all of the people involved can make things complicated, but Mr. Excited just wants to hear about the results - not the complications. We have One goal. One Mission. AND One Obsession . So with our eyes firmly on the prize we are moving forward with a new Adventure of a Lifetime . We have built a new team to join us and are ready and excited about moving forward again. We have named our surrogates Ajysyt and Isis. To give them their privacy on the web. Also, it just seemed like a lot of fun to keep people guessing. Our goal is to share this story with everyone. To accomplish this we have started ...

When we first went to our RE. Dr. Zouves he gave us a book that he wrote called Expecting Miracles. Yes, that is a very interesting name. Anyways, I remember looking at the book when we first got started and thinking - I can't read this book. All of these people have same serious problems and that's not us. Besides, I don't want to hear the hard luck stories and the struggles someone else has gone through. Just give me the success stories, because that is how we are going to storm through IVF. As one big long success story. We just stumbled upon the book again recently and have been reading the stories and understand them for the first time. We read the book and go - I remember when we faced that problem. Their stories have become our story. It is amazing how your viewpoint changes when you have become one of them.

Now it's time for Mr. Oddsmaker to show up at the door. I like him. He is a good friend of mine and we go way back. Mr. Oddsmaker is very informal. In our first conversation he's "like dude this IVF thing is not about you, it's all in the odds. You know that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but you got to play to win." After talking to him I start to consider that he is on to something very important to remember. The odds are what they are no matter who you are. There is no such thing in IVF of - hey I am very deserving and have waiting my turn in line - where is my baby. There is no obstacle course that you can say - hey, I have passed every test - where is my baby. It really just comes down to - how many times do I need to attempt IVF to - have my baby arrive? The Odds, are the Odds, are the Odds. You can't change them. You just need to learn what they are and accept them. There are two other blogs that deal with this very well. First, you have baby...

Mr. Vulnerable is an idiot and doesn't get to stay around long. Sure he gets a short visit occasionally, but he gets a quick kick in the butt and told to leave. After 3 transfers and no live birth he made an unannounced visit and stayed past his welcome. He asked all kids of questions about where the problems where in our relationships with IVF and surrogacy. You know - who's fault is it. That's what Mr. Vulnerable likes to do best, he likes to point fingers and place blame. Mr. Vulnerable is an idiot - he doesn't have any good qualities. He does talk a good game though at times and he reels you in and grabs you. Tells you that you need to go over everything and find out where you went wrong. So - we look at all of the facts and realize - scientifically speaking - we didn't do anything wrong. Even our Doctor warns you going in that this is a roller coaster ride and you need to be mentally prepared. I really think it's more like Mr. Toads wild ride then a roller...

When we started this trip onto IVF Land on Surrogacy World I was sure it was going to work for us on the first try. No doubt in my mind. You see, we don't have a fertility problem, we have a carrying problem. It just seems so simple - take my healthy sperm, add Chrsty's perfect eggs, and add one healthy uterus and say the magic word and "BAM" there is a healthy baby. What could go wrong? So here we go: Sperm - GREAT. Eggs 30 - GREAT. Embryo's - GREAT. Lining - GREAT. Fresh Transfer 2 perfect Embryo's - GREAT. Pee Stick's - GREAT. First Beta - GREAT. Second Beta - GREAT. Third Beta - GREAT. First Ultrasound - GREAT. TWINS - GREAT. Second Ultrasound heartbeats - GREAT. Then - we meet our sworn enemy Mr. SCH. That is the end of our great news. We take a break and regroup. Second Transfer Frozen BFN Third Transfer Frozen BFN No more Embryo's. Just like in pinball - you lose three times and it's game over. Please insert ...

Here is a classic poem by Kipling that can easily be used to describe my experience with IVF and Surrogacy. You just need to change the last line to - You'll Be Ready For IVF and Surrogacy My Son! Rudyard Kipling If If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the sam...

This is a post from Christy. It is in reply to the question "What do your friends and family think about you going through IVF and Surrogacy?" I would say for the most part it has been VERY positive and supportive. Here is my list- My mom- Very supportive but a little concerned someone wants to keep our baby. My dad- hmmmmmm?? no comment but I have not talked to him directly about it (just my step-mom) But I know he LOVES LOVES LOVES babies and will be thrilled to fall in love again. My step-mom- horrified HAHAHAH but not so much by surrogacy I think but more so as to why anyone would ever want more than one child in the first place! HAHAHA She said some bad words and basically told me I was stupid. I mentioned to her Jon has never had children and she told me that was his problem and not mine! HAHAHAHA. I followed that up with mention that I have always wanted more children and I have never gotten over not being able to have more. Again, choice words about how stupid I am. ...

Since we are talking about other blogs that inspire a post I will point to Xbox4NappyRash: The seventh sense in which he talks about developing a 7th sense - the ability to see infertile people. I got it a little different - I See Pregnant Women....And Small Children. When I was a small child I would go to the beach and see other small children. Others like me to play with in the sand. Then as I got a little bit older I became interested in the basketball court near the beach and was aware of the other basketball players that where on the court. As a got still older, I became aware of the girls in the bikini's at the beach. All of a sudden they were everywhere - and they were the only ones on the beach. Recently, when I go to the beach I see Pregnant Women....And Small Children all over the place. I constantly have to work hard not to step on them as they play in the surf. These young families are new to the beach. They have never been there before now - yet now they are all of the...

Check it out! Someone thinks that I am inspiring. Really! go to Our Surrogacy Adventure and read how I inspired her post, but notice that I didn't inspire her enough to be added to her blogroll. This is what I am talking about when I say that we meet new friends on our adventure. This would be a prime example. Take note, if you women that are reading my blog want me to post more that is how you get it done - stroke my ego. Men really are that simple. Now here is my response to the heart of her post - why do I blog? This is the point when almost everyone says "so that friends and family can follow our journey". That's not me. I want my family to be able to enjoy the excitement of our new addition and don't want to take them on the rollercoaster ride with us. They are really supportive, but we have to go through enough already without taking our entourage with us every step of the way. We just want to give them the happy days. So then, who is the audience that I wa...

When the Intended parent and Surrogate get involved in the process they normally hear two entirely different comments from friends, family, and strangers. The Surrogates hear: Your going to build a family for someone. Your going to give the gift of life. You are so special for doing that for someone. And you get paid - what a bonus. The Intended Parents hear: Isn't that expensive? How are you coming up with the money? It seems so unnatural does it really work? Do you really need more children? Why don't you adopt? What is so important about your DNA? Is she going to keep the baby? The baby is not really yours. Aren't you playing God? Some people just aren't supposed to have children. Aren't you worried about the surrogate doing drugs? Aren't you just using some poor women? Aren't you being selfish? Maybe, you should just get a puppy. That will cure everything. I am sure that I have missed a bunch. Please add your thoughts in the comment section.

Surrogacy World is a very interesting place to be. In theory, there are two Intended Parents for every Surrogate. This means that Intended Parents out number Surrogates by 2 to 1. However, even thought they are outnumbered by a 2 to 1 margin Surrogates and their views dominate Surrogacy World. There are Surrogate agencies and Surrogate websites that are all based upon the needs of the Surrogate. What we find is that the IP's are the Silent majority on Surrogacy World. On a land full of people the IP's are isolated from the community at large. The IP's are very limited to what they feel they are allowed to share on Surrogacy World. It's almost impossible to find them speaking freely. And if you do they will usually be in a very small pack. They are a tight knit group that share their experiences among each other carefully. Many of them live in states or countries that don't allow it or have friends of family that don't understand or support them in the process. I...

On Friday, I wrote about IVF fears. These are fears that are based on the medical and scientific issues that are involved with the whole IVF part of the process. A question that was asked was how do you move forward with IVF with all of the Fears that it brings to the party? My answer is simple: Your hopes and desire melt away the fears so that you can reach your dreams.

The Surrogate is your pilot and tour guide for the duration of your pregnancy. She can take you on a trip like Mr. Toads Wild Ride that is full of bumps, jerks, and sharp turns. Or, like The Magic Teacups with a never ending spin cycle. Or, it can be like staying at a 5 star hotel or sailing on a high priced luxury liner. Where your needs are meet before you even knew you had them. Your IVF fears are there no matter who the surrogate is because they are not under anyone's control. The facts and issues of IVF are what they are and can't be changes by anyone. However, when you go on a trip your pilot and tour guide can help keep everything smooth or spin everything out of control. Many times you can get on an airplane and be nervous to fly. It is bad weather outside and you don't know how this big plane really stays up in the air. Then your pilot comes on the air with a calm reassuring voice telling you that everything is going to be okay - and you can relax knowing that a re...

I was asked does the Surrogate help relieve some of the fears that Intended Parents have during the process. Here is a list of fears that I have about going through IVF and Surrogacy that having nothing to do with who is the Surrogate. Financial - Stands alone on the list - it is actually a part of almost every question. Will it be successful? IVF cost . Time - Our eggs are in worse shape every month. Time - How will all of the Doctor Appointments effect work? Cost of optional procedures like ICSI or PGD. Are they a good buy? Do they help our hurt? What about survival of the fittest? How many embryos to transfer Fresh? How many embryos to transfer frozen? Selective Reduction? Advantage/Disadvantage of Raising Twins and Twin Pregnancies? How about Triplets? How do you feel about Embryo Donation or Stem Cell Research? Did you get a negative beta? Are you back to the starting line? Are you down 15-20k or more? Did the HPT come in positive? What did the Beta say? Did...

I have been asked if I will my view will change from experiencing surrogacy to experiencing pregnancy after the Surrogate gets pregnant. And I will say NO. We have already had our first surrogate pregnant. We had the good news of twins, followed by the loss of the first twin at week 9 and the second one at week 11. So I have gone through the almost the entire first trimester being pregnant. I was still Experiencing Surrogacy the whole time. I have a cousin that was having a baby at the same time and their experience was noticeable different. From the start we had weekly doctor visits. They had a few. We new exactly when our babies were conceived, they had an idea when, but couldn't pin point it exactly. We would go into Doctor's appointments knowing what was going to happen - what results to expect - what would be good, average, or bad. They simply went to the Doctor's appointment. The list of differences goes on, but the main thing is that our Surrogacy was so scientific a...

When I mentioned that I was looking into India as a possible option for us, many of the responses I got back where - I could never go there because I have to experience the pregnancy. I have been trying to figure out what that means. To me I am not experiencing the pregnancy - I am experiencing surrogacy. Back to a sports analogy. There are three main groups involved in a basketball game. The players, coaches, and fans. As a player, I am directly involved with the outcome. I have input on every play. I can feel my muscles ache, the blood flowing, and my heart pounding. I effect everything that happens. As a coach, I am directly involved in the game, but I have a different role. I orchestrate everything, but someone else has to make it happen. I choose who gets to play and what plays are run. I effect somethings that happen through others. As a fan, I show up just before tip-off. My first experience is fighting for a place to park, then the beer line. I support the team, I have very l...

Don't touch the Surro is unwritten/unspoken rule #2. At least from one IF's perspective this is a very hard and fast rule. And when I say don't touch the Surro I don't just mean physically. I mean don't talk to her either. Avoid eye contact if possible. Keep conversation to a minimum. Be polite, but not too personal. Be open, but don't share to much. AND don't ever be left alone with her. Sure you can call me paranoid, but this is a radioactive situation. Nations have been built and wars fought over bad Traditional Surrogacy situations. As guys, you girls have brainwashed us for years. Be happy, you won. Starting when we are teenagers - we are told - you are in a relationship with me. Don't look at that girl. Don't you dare talk to her. Now as an adult, I am in a solid relationship, yet another girl is carrying my child, and I am expected to skip over 25 years of programming??????? You must admit - you girls have us programmed well. The only IF's...

As I write this Blog I feel that I have a fine line to walk. My nature is to tell a positive story. I prefer to talk about what I want in life and where I am headed and I don't like to talk or focus on the negative. I prefer to keep my eye on the prize with a lazer sharp intensity. Then people ask me questions or I write a post that is very thoughtful and describe some of the tough times that IP's go through. It might be my direct experience or I might be making a general statement about how IP's in general think or feel about a subject. I continually think - I don't want to post that it makes me sound broken. And that is not the case. Sure we have faced some tough struggles during our Adventure with Surrogacy and I don't want to downplay them, but we want to keep the focus on our future healthy children. We do need someone to help carry a baby for us. It will take another person to make our family complete. How many people have faced similar circumstances? How many...

Everyone agrees that the Surrogate and the Intended Parents are on the same team and have the same goal that they are trying to achieve. At times during the adventure though it often doesn't sound like the two groups are playing the same games and using the same rules. Where do things break down? Let's get back to a good sports analogy. My specialty. I think that the Surrogate and the Intended Parents relationship is very much like how a pitcher and catcher interact in baseball. In my example the Surrogate is the pitcher and the Intended Parents are the catcher. The catcher (IP's) has the responsibility of running the team, setting up defenses, keeping everybody focused, and calling the pitches. This last part means that they will tell the pitcher what pitch to throw. For example, either a fastball, curveball, or slider. Now the pitcher (Surrogate) looks at the catcher and gets the sign (instructions) for what pitch to throw. The pitcher has the ball (baby) in his hand. N...

Much has been said recently about Surrogacy in India. Most of it is by Surrogates or non-infertiles that don't have to face the need of using IVF and Surrogacy or leaving their country to have a child. When I originally arrived on IVF Land on Surrogacy World India wasn't even in my sites. I never even gave it a thought. After being here for awhile I did have to look into that option. Any consumer making a major purchase would look into all of their options before buying. So we go exploring, on the web, from the safety of my home to India to research the IVF cost . The first shocking fact that I find out is that India was second by only a few weeks for the first IVF birth. They have been doing this for a very long time. Who Knew? A major plus in the whole thing is that the Surrogate is changing our Family forever, and we are doing the same for hers. The amount of money that she is earning in relationship to her countries normal pay is life changing. How cool is that? M...

We really have one mission here from the beginning. Go forth and multiple. That is why we are here. Our mission isn't to have a big house, nice car, or great career. It is simply: Go forth and multiple. This is our number one drive in life. Our sex drive is all demanding. That's because having children is our prime directive. The requirements for our existence. In no particular order are: Food, Water, Shelter, and to Procreate. The Infetile search and wonder the world trying to meet this need, this hunger, this internal unstoppable command to: Go forth and multiple.

Listen and You Will hear... the panic attack of an IP coming near. A surro and her IP's go to the doctor for a check-up on the baby. Do they hear the same thing? Sure they both listen to the doctor, but do they walk away from the appointment with the same expectations of what needs to be done before the next visit? Or how healthy the baby is at this moment in time? You have all heard of the book titled "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". Can the same be said for IP's and Surro's? You here the stories and what the two groups take away from their meeting with the doctor's are often night and day. You talk to the IP and hear that the Surro has been placed on strict bedrest for 2 weeks and then you hear that the Surro played tennis all morning before going skiing in the afternoon. Huh???? I got to assume that the Surro wants to carry a healthy baby and thinks they are doing what the doctor told them. Where is the disconnection happening? Is it as simple...

When we first started talking about using two surrogates at the same time the immediate thought is "this is going to be complicated". I mean working with one person was/is hard enough wouldn't working with two people be twice as hard? Or worse, would the problems even multiply and get completely out if hand? By the end of the journey will I be asking to be locked in a padded room? Now that we have been going down this path for awhile I see many advantages of using a team to build our family. Teams have common goals and a common purpose. If one person is struggling the other teammates can help lift them up. Each individual will add their special skills, ability, and personality to make a stronger team then they could be as individuals. Here is a definition of what a team is: A team comprises a group of people linked in a common purpose. Teams are especially appropriate for conducting tasks that are high in complexity and have many interdependent subtasks. Teams normal...

This was just pointed out to me. It took me 28 posts, but I finally wrote one that didn't have a sports analogy. I promise to make up this omission with multiple sports analogies in a future post. I will finish this post with a quote from Yogi Berra a baseball player and manager from the New York Yankees. Yogi said "You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours".

You get the call. It's not one of those calls that startles you awake in the middle of the night with an emergency, but just as scary to get, and the call confirms your worst fears. The pregnancy test was negative. Is it any surprise that Infertile people have a higher rate of depression than cancer patients? The only focus of their life has become achieving pregnancy. One goal. One Mission. One Obsession. With infertility you are in a daily fight to develop a life. It has strained friendships, finances and your relationship at times. These couples know what it is like to spend a minimum of $15,000 on one month of infertility treatments, only to get a negative pregnancy test. They know the sting of hearing people ask why they don't just give up or adopt, when their greatest desire in the world is to create a baby with the person they love, just like everyone else. Like soldiers in combat, the veterans of IVF and Surrogacy band together. They forge close friendships in th...

There are some phrases that you here a lot on Surrogacy World. One of them is: "Good Luck on your Journey" Another one: "I can't wait to follow your Journey". I hear that phrase and I want to puke. It just sounds like such a feminine word and definitely not something that I want to be involved in as a male. That's were you lose us. It start right at the beginning - Journey is a women's definition of the experience. "Journey to the center of the earth" was written in 1864 and is the only example that I can think of that is a journey that a man would be interested in going on. That is it!! One example. When I hear a women speak about their journey I think of a quote: Let them a journey new begin, But I at last with weary feet Will turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet. — J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973), English Professor. I journey is a trial and tribulation that wears you down. It is something that you need to recover f...

This is Part 2 of "The Talk". Click here to read part 1 first. The one question my mom kept asking in different ways - was - do you think it is okay to genetically engineer your children? These were some big words for my 8 year old mind to work on and as she described it I could only compare it to a bugs bunny cartoon called baseball bugs. Here is some background about baseball bugs. A baseball game is going on in New York City, at the Polo Grounds (although the rooftop facade is more suggestive of Yankee Stadium), between the visiting "Gas-House Gorillas" (a play on the Gashouse Gang nickname for the 1930s St. Louis Cardinals) and the home team, the "Tea Totallers". The game is not going well for the Tea Totallers, as the Gorillas - a bunch of oversized, roughneck players - are not only dominating the Totallers, made up of old men ("I'm only 93 and a half years old!", a joking reference to Fanny Brice's "Baby Snooks" ...

I think that everyone remembers when they first have "the talk". For many people it is a very uncomfortable subject, they are confused about it, and don't really know what to say, what to ask, basically, it is just plain awkward. Based on rumors, stories, and gossip it seems to me that the girl usually initiates "the talk" with the guy. She has done her research and is usually subtle at first and tries to play it off as a joke more then a serious discussion. I remember that I first had "the talk" with my mom when I was about 8 or 9 years old. Sure I was young, but I was a fast learner and it wasn't even tough for me to talk about, you see I was way away from needing it for myself so there wasn't a lot of pressure on me. The conversation is still fresh in my mind all these years later as I recall the first time that my mom asked me what I thought about a test tube baby. I will admit that I was confused on how a baby could fit inside a test tube,...

I just got listed as a new blog by Mel at Lost and Found and Connections Abound. For those of you coming to my site for the first time here is a quick summary. I am an Intended father writing about surrogacy from the straight males perspective.  It seems weird to need to add the word straight when describing myself, but all the male blogs that I can find on Surrogacy seem to be from a gay males perspective.  Christy and I have been working on the baby project for around 2 years with many highs and lows. We are currently building our team for a new run. This time around we expect to have two surrogates at the same time which will help make it an exciting ride for everyone. This is the background for our story. Please read some of my posts and feel free to ask me some questions.

A few posts ago I talked about my family history and how it was important to have by children born in America to keep them attached to their roots. A few of the comments that people gave back to me where - I have never thought that far into the future and how my being a Surrogate really leaves a lasting impression on someone's life. To me it is clear that where my child is born changes their life story and their children's life story. Well I have a story about how simple decision's by one person can change a families life forever. This is not a bitter story for me, but just a perfect example on how one small change in your life can affect everyone else down the line. My Great-Great Grandma was 100% Cherokee Indian and my Great-Great Grandfather was reportedly at least 50% Cherokee Indian. Now in their time around the 1890's American Indian's were not being treated very well. So my Great-Great Grandfather made a decision. I am going to claim to be a white man and m...

Sarah and Abraham are always brought up as the first Surrogate story. What is the Story? I will tell it in over a few posts. We will start with the son that Abraham and Sarah have together without using a surrogate. In Genesis, God promised Abraham that he would make a great nation of him. Well, clearly to make a great nation from someone, would require having at least one child to carry on your line! And when they are young, this would have seemed like no big deal most likely to Abraham and his wife Sarah. I mean, maybe they were getting a little up there in years, but a baby still was possible. So they obey God, set out for the promised land, and wait for a son. And they wait. And they wait, and they wait . Over 10 years goes by and still no baby . God revisits Abraham in chapter 15 and tells him “I am your shield and your very great reward.” Abraham asks how that can be since he doesn’t have a son, and God reaffirms that he will have a son. Here’s where we get this great line “Abr...

When we started on Surrogacy World we were new comers with no clue how to find our way around. We didn't have any answers - and even worse - we didn't even know what questions to ask. How do you even know where to begin? IVF world has very few Intended Parents that are willing to speak. If you just look at your normal gossip magazine you will see many Hollywood stars having twins at an advanced age - magically. As first time IP's we want with a first time surrogate and figured that we can all learn at the same speed. Now as we head into our second journey we want seasoned veterans like ourselves. No Rookies for us this time around. At the start our team was two people entering the vast unknown world of IVF and Surrogacy. As 5th year senior's we are better prepared for everything that is coming our way. Plus, our team has grown and is very experienced and knowledgeable about Surrogacy World. This adds to our comfort level. We have started an IP message board with over 1...

This is the story we are looking for - except we will have two surro's carrying the children. http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/story?id=2215523 Miracle Twins Born to Two Different Moms Embryos Were Implanted in Biological Mom and Surrogate Twin brothers born to different mothers? It sounds impossible. Surrogate Angel Willis, left, and Kathy and Ray Payne celebrate the recent births of twins Connor and Cameron Payne. (ABC News) But thanks to the reproductive advancements of surrogacy and in vitro fertilization, twins Connor and Cameron Payne were born to different mothers 16 days apart in different hospitals. Kathy and Ray Payne wanted children and had tried for eight years to make it happen. After numerous fertility treatments, implanted embryos and miscarriages, they were ready to pursue adoption. But then a doctor suggested they try ...

I think that there are clearly defined rules - some spoken and some unspoken. For example, if someone showed up at the beach in a tuxedo they would not be breaking any rules. However, everyone there would give them a lot of space and wonder if the person is mentally okay. Because they broke the social norm everyone would be very leary of them. How many surro's out there want to help a mentally unstable person have a baby? When I am posting I can't help but think of Howard Dean and the "Dean Scream". Howard Dean was the front runner of the Democratic party for president when he made this speech. Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York ... And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we're going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! Yeah! This final "...

The land mines are all over the place and anything you say can hurt someone's feelings. Speaking to a women is Dangerous to begin with no matter the subject. And think of the fun topics we get to discuss. A women's weight, age, and medical history. OH MY! This is the normal conversation (normally taboo) and as an IF I am supposed to know what is off limits. We have already crossed all of the limits and that is just about the surrogate. Then we get to start to talk about IVF. That has to be a safer topic right? No! It's filled with thoughts about religion, politics, money, and sex. To not speak is safe. You can't upset anyone by keeping your mouth shut.

Alright, here is a pet peeve that I just realized today. I am looking for a blog any blog or article about surrogacy from a Man's point of view. Basically, I am looking for a cheat sheet for topic points - what areas of IVF and Surrogacy are safe for a guy to talk about? So I google Men and Surrogacy, Men's views on Surrogacy, and Intended Fathers and Surrogacy. Then a bunch of other combinations and here is what I found: 1) Any Men's views was limited to gay men. 2) I can induce lactation and breast feed my child. I find both of these disturbing. Sure there is a place for everyone in this process and gay men can have their views and their baby, but as a straight man, how is our voice so limited on the subject? And the thought of males breast feeding is a picture that I don't want in my mind. Everyone here will just have to deal with me as I put my foot in my mouth and say the wrong thing at times, because it is very clear that there is no guidance for me.

The voting has been complete and we have our Surro's names. These out the names that I will be using on my blog. Ajysyt and Isis. Ajysyt - The literal meaning is "Birthgiver". You can pronounce it as asia-sit. She is the Mother goddess of the Turkic Yakut people from the Lena River region of Siberia. Ajysyt was responsible for conducting the soul of a newborn child to its birth and attended every birth. She kept a golden book in which she recorded each one. She is said to have lived in a mountain, from which she controlled the fate of the world. In legend she appeared to a white youth out of the roots of the Cosmic Tree (or world pillar of Yryn-al-tojon) which itself stood beside a lake of milk. By suckling the youth from her breasts she caused his strength to increase a hundredfold. Isis - Her name literally means "queen of the throne." One of the most important female deities, Isis was the protectress of motherhood, healer of the sick, and protectress of women...

Information about mexico ivf treatment Mexico IVF and Surrogacy - A Valid Option Going into the Surrogacy World I had some pre-conceived ideas on how things would work and wasn't necessarily flexible on my needs. The list was short, but clear. My children needed to be born in Southern California. It was limited to LA, Orange County, or San Diego. That about summed up my needs. I was comfortable with all of the other aspects of the journey and didn't see much need for a lot of concerns about anything else. Christy, would find a Surro that was easy to work with and friendly and everything would go smooth. No worries from me. I figured that pregnancy was a women's issue and Chisty and the Surro would figure it out together. Now that I have lived on Surrogacy World for a while my thoughts have changed. My only demand in the process - where my child was going to be born wasn't a concern anymore. No longer concerned with where the Child is born we now had a whole world of loc...

As you start off with a new journey you want to look at all of the options. India sounds like a good choice after our last go around, you basically have no contact with the surro and the prices are very cheap. You get the experience of traveling the world and an amazing story to tell your children about how far you were willing to go for them. Some of the down falls are - your traveling the world. Think about flying for at least 15 hours to land in a place like Mexico. And then having to spend over a month there if everything goes well. Is there a closer option? Well yes,  what Panama offers is almost identical to India and it's a lot closer to home. However, they are just starting out in the IVF vacation field and do you want to be a guinea pig and find out how things will work? So Panama is out based on the fact that they are to new to the field. India emails me all of the information and looks pretty good. I read a few blogs of people that have gone this way. They all wr...

A poster has questioned my feelings towards my last surrogate. I tried to make a joke that didn't hit the right tone in one of my prior threads called "what is there not to like about surrogacy". Here is the part of the post in question: Of course, I don't have a surro at this time, and in the past I have never had a bad experience with my surro. In fact, I love my surro, and all other surro's, at all times. My future surro, whomever she is, is the best. Anyways, let's get on with this post and explain myself. Using a point of reference that hopefully everyone can understand, I would say that our first relationship with a surrogate was very much like your relationship with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. It starts out all rosy with everyone happy for you and lots of good feelings. You hit a rough spot and try to work through it. Then times get tough and you don't want to let go and move on after all of the time that has been invested. You hold...

I think that I see the smurf's different than some of the other posters. I don't see any of them only posting in smurf threads - they are actually all over the message boards and are amazingly well rounded and thoughtful in their posts. They bring a special attitude to the board that helps take away some of the stress that we face everyday on Surrogacy World. When thinking about the Smurf's I am reminded of a speech by a basketball coach. Stick with me - this is not another dumb sports story. This is one of the best speeches ever. They play it ever year at the start of basketball season. I could watch it every day - and tear up every time. Yes, it is that moving. Watch the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s Jim Valvano was a basketball coach that was diagnosed with metastatic bone cancer at age 46 and died a year later. Weeks before he passed away he announced the start of a new foundation at an ESPN awards banquet. The motto of the organization wou...

Being new to posting I am the one who broke the rule recently by mentioning that it exists. Oops! I will compare this to my experience as a basketball coach and then an administrator for my basketball program. I started a few basketball teams and coached them all (this is how I meet Christy). I had a very happy program and never got any complaints. My program grew and grew to the point that I needed to hire coaches to coach the extra teams. From my own success as a coach I turned into an administrator of the program. My coaches where all high school coaches and we were coaching 3rd-8th graders so my staff was highly qualified. As the administrator my experience changed the parents started to come up to me and complain about their child's experience and how frustrated they were with the coach. Later, I would talk to the coach about the situation and they would be confused. They would say - that parent loves what I am doing and they are my biggest supporter. They would ask me...

Now that I have your attention. I need your help naming our Surro's. Since we don't have them now I need to come up with name's for them. Our future Surro's just doesn't have a good ring to it. You girls play the baby name game all of the time so you have some practice at this activity. So instead of name that baby - let's name those surro's. I was thinking of giving them each the name's of a fertility goddess. It seems like a good fit. Below are some examples, but feel free to nominate your own name. Either way be sure and tell us why we should use your names. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fertility_goddess Fertility goddess names The fertility goddesses are the female deities to watch over and promote fertility, pregnancy, and birth in many polytheistic cultures. List of fertility goddesses and related deities and individuals * Ajysyt * Ala * Ama-arhus * Aphrodite * Arianrhod * Artemis * Astarte * Bast * Bendis * Brigid * Cybel...

My biggest issue with surrogacy is loss of control. We have not gone all the way to a live birth so I have not experienced an entire journey first hand, but you hear stories of out of control surro's. I am sure that it's just like the nightly news where the wildest story gets the headline - but the headlines play into your fears. Once those embroy's are transfered all sense of control is lost. They were safe and protected in the petri dish. Now they are loose in the womb and struggling to survive. You want to help them settle in and find a safe home for the next few months, but you are helpless and can't help them. I would offer to hold them in place - but that would be really awkward! You only have one source for communication with them and that is through your surro. What did she say? How did she say it? What was the meaning behind her words? Sure she said this, but what did she really mean? Can you break the code and find out what is really going on? When did t...

We have already raised two kids together so I understand the difference between coaching kids and parenting. We have gone through the ups and downs of raising children and are ready for another go. This is not a decision that we are making lightly. We have talked this over with many people in the surrogacy world. Women that have not just scene the good times and the bad, but lived it for themselves. The journey will not be for the meek of heart. Someone that needs to be the center of attention need not apply. Someone that is always needing others to validate them need not apply. If you enjoy drama daily you need not apply. Basically, this journey needs the best of the best. I think that only 1-2% of the surro's out there are ready for this situation. Our surro's will need to be very mature and be very comfortable in their own skin. They know who they are and are happy. Someone who has lived in the surrogacy world for a long time so that she knows what to expect. Thes...

We were told about the worse case scenario and asked how we could give parental support to all of the children. Here is my answer. We can't base all of our choices just on the odds. Our first set of twins had a 95% chance of reaching a live birth after having heart beats and neither of them made it. Also, if we lived our life in fear of the worse case scenario we wouldn't be moving forward at all. Since so far IVF has sucked for us!!!! Our worse case scenario is not having too many kids - it's having none. That is our reality. I am not sure where the lack of parental attention would come from. I have never seen John and Kate plus 8. Let me give you my background with kids. For the last 20 years I have run youth sports leagues as business. I am usually working with about 300 kids at a time and during the winter it's over 1,000 and I pretty much know them all. Normally, I coach basketball and see about 20 kids per hour for 4 hours a night. I know them all by name ...